Jay took a trip: and took us with him

I don’t remember the first time I met Jay. 

Most of you who have met me at a bar after midnight can probably guess why.

What I do remember is a personality. A quiet, shy guy. The kind of guy who had just lost a lot of weight, and wasn’t sure how he looked. The kind of guy who had been around forever, but had always been written off for some reason–and now he wasn’t really sure if he deserved mention.

This is just a bit over two years ago.

Then, I remember a guy who was really excited about getting a New England Rubber Men’s organization back and going…but only wanted to be a member. I remember a guy who watched, and saw our first Mister New England Rubber, Rich (Nochmal) go on to finish first runner up at MIR.

I do remember THAT look. That moment. Something changed right then and there for Jay.

Here’s what you need to understand about Jay: he’s nice. Perpetually nice. Unrelentingly nice. All in a way that meant that, while he never declared himself the leader of our group, he clearly became so. He took on so many responsibilities, organized so much, that he wasn’t a leader by declaration or election–he was a leader by sheer amount of effort and inspiration.

The next year, he competed in and won Mister New England Rubber. My partner, LeatherGloveboy (or RubGloves on Facebook) came in first runner up. And in the process, they became best friends. Jay was that kind of guy.

Some people take on a sash, and think it makes them special. Jay not only played a part in making the sash…he’s the one that made it special. And always will.

Whenever someone from now on puts on the MNER sash, that will mean taking on Jay’s mission. A mission to say that, “no matter who you are or what you’re into, you deserve to let that out.” As he said during the contest that would eventually lead to him becoming Mister International Rubber, he would face everyone with the question:

“Don’t you wish you were having this much fun?”

That positioning made him different, in a very substantial way, from previous MIR winners. You see, rubber isn’t leather. It takes a sense of humor to wear rubber, it’s not convenient in the slightest–it tears easily, conveys cold when it’s cold, heat when it’s hot, and makes you sweat in either case. Jay always got that.

He didn’t win because he was sexier. Or because he was better with a microphone and improving. He won because he was a living incarnation of the idea that all you need to think about is having fun. We don’t get to take ourselves seriously. In the process, that means not only being open to “weird” interests…but often encouraging people to take those interests even further.

Jay wore rubber and that philosophy everywhere. He got people who would never go out in public in gear to show up to public events. He got the name “rubber jason” tattooed on his bicep along with his partner’s name. In just over two years, he went on the trip from being a quiet, unsure member of the community to someone so dedicated to his ideals that he changed fetish for people across the county (well…and world, really, counting the UK and Canada).

Of course, this is the part where I lament that we’re now on this trip without Jay. But, I don’t really think that.

I know that, even though I can’t remember the first time I met him…I can’t imagine my life without him having happened. I’ve never been someone who has needed the kink community to find people to play with. In fact, Boston gives me a rather nice stream of highly intelligent 18-25 year olds who want to experience bondage and rubber in some form or another. What Jay gave me was the ability to feel ok with that. To feel that there is a group of people among whom I don’t have to feel like a pervert or pariah.

When everything is confined to your attic, you’re Anne Frank. Meeting Jay was the fucking liberation of Germany.

That’s pretty much what you need to know about Jay. About why all of us feel so strongly about him.  History says where we take it from here…but it will be a harder path than without our rubbery leader.

Warped: I was kinky before I was gay

I was five when I did my first mummification….

…on Luke Skywalker.

My parents had painted my bunkbed with this god-awful brown latex paint. Scratching my nails across the surface, I discovered I could pull off strips sometimes inches long. The longer the strip, the more satisfying this little destructive act would feel.

the same way I peel the labels off beer bottles now.

Then I’d have this shiny, stretchy piece of smooth latex–and it would feel so good replastered along the smooth apple of my cheek. Or, over my mouth. I wished I could cover myself in it.

But I couldn’t. Not without stripping the bed down to bare wood. So, I did the next best thing: I stretched it over Luke. Head-to-toe, covering him like an egyptian mummy, leaving his face for last. And (for some reason) I’d imagine him pleading with me not to finish the job…to let him free.

Then, I’d cover his nose and mouth.

What are your Favorite Reads?

Every once and a while, those of us who are avid readers (and who happen to be gay) like to read about characters that…well…are a little closer to us than what’s in most main stream literature–and the giant pool of porn lit out there isn’t exactly what we’re looking for. The good news is that the burgeoning field of young adult literature is actually bringing a boon to the gay male readership.

Now, before you sneer at the adult guy reading “young adult” literature, I have two small points to bring up. Number 1: the “young adult” time is the “realizing who you are” time for most gay men–so, it’s often one of the most (if not the most) significant times in our lives as far as relationships go. It only makes sense that the stories that pull at our heart strings would come from this time. Number 2: Twighlight and Harry Potter are young-adult, but it’s hard to argue that these books haven’t had huge wide-scale appeal (although, god help me…sparkly vampires…why did it have to be sparkly vampires!?).

Try us on the iPad

As you may or may not have noticed, the posts here recently haven’t exactly been coming at breakneck speed lately. Well, that’s because the new job that came with a return to Boston was a little bit more overwhelming than anticipated. But, we’re (I’m) back in gear, and one of the things that’s getting me on track is my favorite new tool, my iPad 2.

So, only appropriately, you’ll find that this website is cued into a special theme designed for display on the iPad. As always, the material here will be “public-display safe” (even though the actual written content won’t always be…but if someone is reading that closely over your shoulder, well, you have other problems on your hands).

 

Hello, Nochmal: Mister New England Rubber 2011

The world of rubbermen contests began in Boston with the Mr. Vulcan competition two decades ago. Since that time, however, the premier title event has traveled to the city of Chicago (now in the form of Mr. International Rubber) while other locations around the world have started their own rapidly growing events.

Now, for the first time since John Ferrari was crowned in 1993, the spirit of Mr. Vulcan has been reincarnated in the city where it all started. The 32-year-old kinky Bostonian known as Nochmal has won the title of Mr. New England Rubber 2011.

“I’m wicked, wicked, wicked into rubber—competing for the title wasn’t much of a question,” Nochmal said after the contest, which was supported by the Guyzingear Network and held at the Ramrod in Boston’s Fenway area. “The rubber scene is really under represented in the New England area, and I’d like to see that change.”

Sporting a mohawk and heavy-gauge nose ring, the athletically built Nochmal wowed judges during the talent competition with a demonstration of a raunchy sense of humor, an impressive dildo collection and the willingness to slather himself in lube.

Stretching your dollars

On the eve before Mister New England Rubber, I can’t help but to start taking stock of my rubber collection (or the lack thereof).

Let’s face it, rubber is expensive–and it’s not all created equal. For example, Mr. S rubber feels, smells and (yes) tastes much different than Polymorph. Add to this the simple fact that rubber intrinsically breaks down over time, and so has a shorter lifetime than leather.

So where to shop to make your rubber dollar stretch?

Without a doubt, the best shopping opportunity is at the Chicago Rubbermen’s Rubber Swap at MIR each year (the deals you can get are insane, and the swap just gets bigger each year). Quite frankly, the deals might make up for the plane ticket and price of admission.

But if you can’t make it, where else offers good deals on rubber goods?

Ebay can be a bit sketchy unless you know the people doing the selling. But if it’s someone you trust (like Ruff), it’s prime deal time.

Mr. New England Rubber

Please forgive the unoriginal gas mask image but…well…there’s not really a logo that I know of yet for Mr. New England Rubber.

Oh, yeah…I guess I should mention that Mr. New England Rubber is this weekend (March 26th, 2011). This is the first time that someone has tried to bring back a contest similar to the one that started MIR (what used to be Mr. Vulcan).

So, if you happen to read this meager posting, turn out at the Ramrod a little before 10 on Saturday and show your support for Rubber Boston (heck, just help us show that a Rubber Boston does still exist).

What’s your favorite fetish/rubber profile site?

Some prefer Recon, others are die-hard GearFetish fans. Then again, there’s always RubberZone and FetLife. Of course, you can always try to cover them all.

Each site carries its own little social norms and appeals to a different type of user. A lot of young guys tend to flock to GearFetish, where content and profiles tend to be splayed out and accessed with equal ease. Of course, it also helps that a basic, unpaid membership doesn’t really put you at a disadvantage as far as use goes…except for those pesky picture-per-minute limits.

Those with a bit more experience and a solid preference for particular fetishes tend to use Recon, which is divvied up by fetish in a way that’s useful to those who know what they’re looking for. But, that same organizational system can be intimidating and irritating for broad or inexperienced users. And, you have to be willing to pony up for a premium membership (the truncated access to messages and photos is just too frustrating).

So, what’s your favorite site?

First post…getting things started off….

Hello, this is the first post for Rubber Boston!

Not that this means anything…of course…um…in fact…it would be great if you could help us out a bit.

We’ll be posting all the events we know about in the New England area, and we’ll be putting up the occasional post to help newcomers and players alike. But, if you know about events, are willing to host new events, want to post thoughts, etc….please let us know! Oddly enough, the best way to contact me is probably to drop me a line at my profile at Recon: Ranter. Or, you can post a message or send me an email.

Thanks!

-Ranter